i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
