I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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