We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
