The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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