please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
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