I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You can't special order awesome
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
