I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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