was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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