Already got asked if we're dating
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
