To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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