There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
