Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
