I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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