They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
