I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
