what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
