i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
