"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
