just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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