is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
