Sry I called you an 8
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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