I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
