It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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