tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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