I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
