the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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