Buhtt sex?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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