I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
