i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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