Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
