Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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