Pregnant stripper...not hot.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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