I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
