I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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