Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
