I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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