i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
