I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
