Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
