$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
