For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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