I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Also, beer. Big fan.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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