What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
