the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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