Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
