when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
im six kinds of drunk right now
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
