a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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