Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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