I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
