Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
