You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
